During one of my favorite TV outdoor shows, there was a commercial for emergency food supplies and ready to eat meals.
In the ad, there was this middle-aged blond adding boiling water to a container and then serving the Chicken Alfredo on plates to the awaiting family members who with a big smile and silverware in hand started digging in, “if a natural disaster hits will you be ready?” asks Mr. Idiot.
Not again. I feel like John Oliver on HBO, who doesn’t have to look too far for political satire given the current candidates who are running for president.
If I could ask these people just one question, it would be “what do you do during your everyday life when you prepare food? Pick up the phone and order Chinese delivery, or is it pizza?
Sorry, you just have to use that electric can opener and warm up the Chef Boyardee and warm it up now, don’t you?
YOU PEOPLE DON’T KNOW HOW TO COOK!!!
If the amerikanoi cooked in this country, we Greeks would have to close our restaurants and diners and go back to the village.
As the self-appointed investigative reporter for Cosmos Philly, I then check out the government site ready.gov to see what kind of information they have to offer us.
I can’t make this stuff up.
“Choose foods your family will eat.”
Okay, is there a single Greek out there who’s mother didn’t force bamies down his or her throat growing up? It was bamies, or you went to bed hungry. Besides if there’s nothing to eat those dandelions on the front lawn and the deer who roam the neighborhood won’t stand a chance by any Greek, even the Americanized ones.
“Following a disaster, there may be power outages for several days.”
Now we’re getting serious. My grandma in Greece had nine children, seven of which were born before the Greek patriotes of Chicago funded the electricity project and brought power to our village and thank God they did because if it took any longer, we would be the size of Mexico City today.
Then there are those that go a little too far and spend thousands of dollars stocking up on everything from guns and ammo and canned goods to underground bunkers with vault-like steel doors with surveillance systems that scan the perimeters just in case one wants to steal those expired cans of Campbell’s minestrone soup.
We may have individual sensitivities as a culture, like catching a cold when we go outside with wet hair after taking a shower, but make no mistake about it, our ancestors survived wars and famine and so will we!
“Tha pethanoun apo tin peina,” says Mom and when I ask her what will we do in an emergency situation. Without missing a beat, she says: “Give a Greek a bag of flour and water and he will make breakfast lunch and dinner”, and before I can ask the next obvious question she continues, “We can make tiganopsomo, bread, and loukoumades and live for months.”
So it’s not just the cockroaches and the ants that will survive but us Greeks as well.
We’ve survived for thousands of years so what’s the problem if we lose electricity for a few days?
I see millions of Greek kids parading in every major US city if anything happens, so don’t worry Harry K. We Greeks will be marching forever!